The Female Bible

GOD’S NOT A WOMAN HE’S A MISOGYNIST

INTRODUCTION:

Upon embarking on this exercise, I thought it would not surprise me to find sexism in the bible. What surprised me was the pervasiveness of it. If you want a reason for the modern malaise of inequality, look no further than this supposed cornerstone of our morality. The book that contains perhaps the wisest thing ever said also contains tonnes of ritualised sexism, from start to finish. It seems odd that when some bemoan the decline in traditional values that they forget that these values are so lopsided.

In this version, the bible reveals itself to be the misogynistic rantings of a priest class who in lieu of their absentee patriarch set arbitrary and violent rules for their people to follow, with the warning that if they don’t, there will be consequences. A sort of ‘wait till your father gets home’ approach to organising society. The difficulties the people have in following these rules are periodically forgiven and the rules updated to be more in keeping with the times.